Traffic in Egypt

Thought I'd make a general comment about Egyptian traffic and driving because its bonkers and genius at the same time.

I've noticed with only 1 exception that there is no road rage here and I think I've figured out why.

It's a generally accepted principle that no one obeys any of the rules, unless it involves anyone with a gun.

No gun, no rules.

If everyone follows the same rule breaking, then no one gets offended. You can queue jump cos everyone does it. You can pullout into oncoming traffic, cos everyone does it. You can undertake, cos everyone does it. You can toot and flash who you like (your lights that is - anything else is more than frowned upon), cos everyone does it. You can even make 3 or 4 lanes where there are only supposed to be 2, cos everyone does it.

The only saving grace to this madness is that in the civilised areas, there are many deterrents to speeding. There are vicious speed bumps every 100 metres or so in the main Na'ama bay area and most stick to the speed limits.

I said with one exception as one evening as we taxied to the bay, a nutter in a small mini van took offence to some manoeuvre our driver made. He then followed us most of the way to the bay, no more than a few protons between our bumpers. He flashed, tried to undertake and our driver did his best to put the guy off too. So it was a bit like being in a bizarre movie car chase from an Indiana Jones film. Our driver just said he was crazy. We smiled and laughed our tourist smiles all praying the mini van driver wasn't armed. All we could have done is thrown some broken Arabic at him and maybe a few hundred egyptian pounds... Actually we'd probably have been alright then.

Egypt is obviously quite behind the times in certain respects. Music, fashion, internet... Its all coming but its not here yet. So there are many things you may recognise in the way things are done too. If you're from my era (the 70s) then you will remember Frogger. Frogger is how the Egyptian pedestrians cross the roads, however there are no extra lives and no floating tree trunks to hop on.

The traffic does not stop for pedestrians.

Strangely, the pedestrians don't stop for the traffic either.

It's sort of like filling a jar with rocks (the traffic) and then pouring in sand (the pedestrians)

Cheers
Stootz

Day 14 - 12th July - Lazy Day

Day 14 - 12th July - Recover, relax, pack

Planned lazy day...

Relaxing, getting the last of the sun and at some point packing for our return tomorrow.

We woke early today to some almighty banging which Sam is convinced is the neighbours... well, banging. If the neighbours are Mr and Mrs A Fricanelephant, then I'd tend to agree. They'd also need a helluva lot of stamina as it went on for about two hours or so...

Maybe it was Sting.

We never did find out what the noise was before we headed for breakfast. The twins are late risers, Lissa needs approximately 14-16 hours sleep per day (not including sunbathing naps thank you very much). If Connor is awake, he isn't allowed to make any noise, in fact he's not allowed to do much while Lissa is about lol. He wants the air con on all night, she doesn't. Guess who wins?

Brekkie was good, I had cereal and milk for a change (I miss the ice cold milk of home - if I were Irish there'd be a song in that). Sam braved the 'egg station' a rather officiously titled cooking corner, where a bored Egyptian cook effortlessly cracked, broke an poured out an egg into a hot pan with one hand. He did it again with another (egg not hand) and then flipped both ( eggs not hands cos even I could flip my own hands) without even looking at the pan. It made me wonder if they have "Egypt's Got Talent" running yet...

We bagged some beds near the pool and lounged, reading and dipping in the pool at the points where skin began to melt.

I decided to just listen to a few tunes on my iPhone whilst writing up some blog entries. I have a truly bizarre and eclectic collection of music from pop to metal, alternative, classical (modern and the masters), Turkish pop, turkish folk, arabian, irish folk, string quartets, lots of film music. I can't say I like everything, but if I ever want to break into film composing proper, then I need to be well versed in many styles and flavours of music.

Nothing much was happening and then the James Bond theme tune came on... The version by David Arnold from my favourite Bond film, Casino Royale (the recent remake). It's amazing how music can change your perspective on things...

Instantly the scene around me transformed... The drunk Russian we encountered last night, becomes Vladimir Karpov, an ex-FSB agent out for Bond's blood.

The bikini clad women begin emerging from the pool in slow motion, trying to get Bond' attention.

The innocent looking Egyptian waiter, carrying his usual tray of drinks, suddenly has a glint in his eye. He knows which drink to hand to Bond, and where the antidote is to the poison he's slipped in it.

The bartender at the outdoor bar looks more menacing than previously as he slices lemons and oranges for his cocktails... He certainly knows more about handling knives than he's letting on.

I could swear the whole bottom of the pool is sliding open...

Bond lies nonchalantly in the sun, his laser transformed eyes revealing more than any normal person can see. They fix on his target... Even in the 47 degree heat, his target remains cool and icy, staring straight back, daring Bond to make his move.

Bond shifts quickly but smoothly closer to his target, avoiding the admiration of several Bond-type girls along the way. Throwing an Egyptian fiver to the floor he deftly distracts the Egyptian waiter, who bends over so quickly, the money hits him on the back of the head.

Vladimir.

Bond thinks fat. That's not a typo... using two obese German women as cover, he circles behind them, beyond Vladimir's hazy gaze. Unfortunately Bond underestimated the Germans mass, which was sufficiently large to create their own small gravitational pull... Bond struggled hard, before turning and running straight at them, hoping he could slingshot himself out of their pull like a NASA satellite.

He just about managed to escape, but his trajectory put him straight into the path of the bartender... He slammed into the bar, winded and gasping for breath he stared his target in the face. The bartender grinned an evil grin borrowed from some underworld creature. He chopped a lemon into 16 pieces with a single 'scwhip' of his scalpel sharp knife.

Bond righted himself. Stood English-tall and pointed to his target, still icy cold in the withering heat.
"Two of those beers. Shukran!" Bond spoke with perfect Queens Brummie-English.

I swear I haven't had anything other than a few lemonades... Honestly.

Cheers
Stootz

Day 13 - 10th July - Nitrogen

Day 13 - 10th July - Nitrogen

So after 3 x 45 minute dives yesterday we are full to the brim with nitrogen. Ok not full but too much to fly, so our dive computers are telling us. Hence we have a lazy day planned but with a trip back to Oonas to get our hotel room key, which as mentioned in the last post, I left in my dive bag.

Oopsie!

From the dive club, we are going to walk down along the sea front, to the Hard Rock Cafe and try to recapture that first visit atmosphere, by grabbing late lunch there. If it's good I suspect we may just stay there, particularly if they have wifi as the kids are desperate to get on... Lissa is desperate to contact Joe (her boyfriend of 9 months - he has my full sympathy for putting up with her for so long) and Connor, well he probably just wants to post some weird comments on facebook like 'pwned' or 'BFMV' or 'gay'... The future of mankind is in trouble my friends...

Sam relented and despite the extortionate prices, she's letting the twins onto the hotel computers... Hopefully they will get it out of their systems, it's only 4 days til we get home!
...

Inevitably, the hotel computers were pants. Nothing worked as it should and facebook was displaying so weirdly it was unusable. The helpful staff switched them to another computer after about 15 minutes and finally things worked ok. We made sure they reset the timer though...

Later on we decided it was HRC time and so after getting changed, I ordered us a taxi from reception to take us to Oonas dive club... I had to get the forgotten hotel room key as a priority.

Cheers
Stootz